The Field of Love

I had my first psychology class yesterday. I was expecting a boring and dull class but it was beyond my expectations that the class was really interesting. I guess I took it lightly at first because psychology classes isn't as important as classes like biochemistry or anatomy or physiology. It doesn't have any exams that need to be pass. All we have to do is just attend it. Isn't that easy?? But anyway, as I said, it was very interesting. Well, at least it was for me. Some people didn't like the class coz' they thought that psychology is just full of crap. They don't see how it could help them in their everyday lives. I do have to agree that western psychology has parts which contradict to Islamic believes, so all we have to do is omit those part. We are adults, and we were taught the Islamic ways. So I'm sure you know which is right and which is not. Which contradicts and which doesn't. So just follow the ones which does not contradicts our believes. Anyway, all of us have our own opinion. So this is mine.

So the topic this week was "The Field of Love". My lecturer who is a psychiatrist said that we need to be in touch with the inner love within ourselves. The people who is in touch with this part of themselves, will love others for no particular reasons. They will love friends not because it is easier to seek for help whenever in need, instead they will love friends just because they are there. They will love a man/woman not because they are showered with gifts, instead they will love just because he/she is there. And these people will tend to give more then receiving. In contrast, the people who isn't completely in touch with their inner love, they will instead love because of materialistic reasons.

During the lesson, the lecturer taught us how to channel this light of love within ourselves. And during the exercise, we came to a point where we had to imagine that the light of love is flowing through our body and it radiates around us. And out of no where, tears came flowing down my cheeks. I think no body notice that i was crying at that moment because everyone was closing their eyes. I don't know why I was in tears, but I found it hard to have that field of love. I believe that to have it, we need to love ourselves first. And it is hard to love myself when there were so many failures and bad experience in the past, and so many flaws.

We learn to walk by walking. Learn to read by reading. And we learn to write by writing. So maybe we can learn to love by loving. So to all family and friends, I love you all!!!

I have to keep reminding myself that nothing is as bad as it seems. And that everything will turn out alright. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger. And also, I have to look in the mirror and say to myself "I am your bestfriend. And I will always support you". I did that a fewtimes everyday. I am starting to love myself already.

With love,
amy